You'd think this Tom Selleck lookalike would be more cautious, after he's just decapitated a zombie, when Laura Gemser says she'll give him "a thrill" if he puts his crotch in her face. It's NSFW!

With a title like Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead, you wouldn't really expect this film to be a landmark of great cinema. But it defies your worst expectations - it's one of the most horrendous exploitation movies ever inflicted on celluloid.

Basically, the first hour is a strung-together set of horrible sex scenes (including one scene between a girl and a champagne bottle, with godawful lounge music.) And then, in the last half hour, the film finally remembers to have a plot, and the mysterious island with the black cat turns out to be infested with flesh-eating zombies. Plus there's a mysterious old man - and his mysterious daughter (Gemser, who plays Emmanuelle in many low-budget skin flicks) and she's not actually a zombie, but does enjoy devouring people's sexual organs. Oh dear. [IMDB]

Send an email to Charlie Jane Anders, the author of this post, at charliejane@io9.com.